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Finding Mary Holtom
Text and photos Rowena Lockey and Ian Hill December 2022 Rowen and Ian asked for help in tracing details of their mother Mary Holtom some months ago. She had revealed little of her life and had now passed away. Her photo album showed that she was married in Ditteridge Church in 1958 and her wedding reception was in Middlehill House, then owned by Kathleen and Dorothy Harper, who ran the Box Waifs and Strays Home. But that was the only-known connection with Box. Rowena wrote to the “Waifs and Strays Society” on chance and they had a file about Mary’s early life. What are we hoping to find when we painstakingly research our ancestors? We don’t mind too much if our ancestors were poor or uneducated if that was the norm for most people then. We don’t want our direct ancestors to be thoroughly bad people, although that can be amusing if it’s a different family branch. What we really want is that they achieved within the limits of their upbringing and, above all, if their story was of triumph over adversity from which we can get strength in our own lives. That was Mary Holtom’s life. |
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Mary’s Background
Mary Lilian Holtom was admitted into the Church of England Society for Providing Homes for Waifs and Strays on 30 August 1938 aged 7 years. Her stepmother Edith Holtom had little information about the child. Her natural mother Ethel Hooper had died of meningitis following gastritis but didn’t know the date of death and her father Charles Henry Holtom, an undertaker’s coachman, had married again to Edith who already had a ten-year-old daughter. He had died on 17 November 1937 and her stepmother was working full-time earning 18 shillings a week (today £65 per week) at Smith’s Crisps Factory, Birmingham.
One of Mary’s siblings was being cared for by the father’s sister and a baby sibling had already been legally adopted. Edith was unable to look after Mary who had been lodged out with strangers, Mrs Hipkiss and her son.
The Society inspector was horrified at the state of the house. Mrs Hipkiss looked ill and broken, having just come out of hospital and was being cared for by the son, an unemployed widower with his own child. Mrs Hipkiss’ husband had gone off some years earlier. Mary seemed thoroughly frightened, with a bad cough and was always out on the streets. The whole family were due to be evicted from their house later that week for failure to pay rent. Mary was accepted urgently but on a temporary basis in Handsworth Home for Girls on 20 September 1938 for five weeks.
Edith had been concerned about Mary going into an orphanage (as children not well-treated) but the child was too young to look after herself, and would be prey to exploitation for the Widows and Orphans pension of 3 shillings a week (today £9 a week) that the state paid to her. So, Edith signed the agreement for Mary to be admitted into the care of the Society, to be brought up in the faith of the Church of England and, when fully trained, sent to any situation in the United Kingdom that the Committee should determine.
Mary Lilian Holtom was admitted into the Church of England Society for Providing Homes for Waifs and Strays on 30 August 1938 aged 7 years. Her stepmother Edith Holtom had little information about the child. Her natural mother Ethel Hooper had died of meningitis following gastritis but didn’t know the date of death and her father Charles Henry Holtom, an undertaker’s coachman, had married again to Edith who already had a ten-year-old daughter. He had died on 17 November 1937 and her stepmother was working full-time earning 18 shillings a week (today £65 per week) at Smith’s Crisps Factory, Birmingham.
One of Mary’s siblings was being cared for by the father’s sister and a baby sibling had already been legally adopted. Edith was unable to look after Mary who had been lodged out with strangers, Mrs Hipkiss and her son.
The Society inspector was horrified at the state of the house. Mrs Hipkiss looked ill and broken, having just come out of hospital and was being cared for by the son, an unemployed widower with his own child. Mrs Hipkiss’ husband had gone off some years earlier. Mary seemed thoroughly frightened, with a bad cough and was always out on the streets. The whole family were due to be evicted from their house later that week for failure to pay rent. Mary was accepted urgently but on a temporary basis in Handsworth Home for Girls on 20 September 1938 for five weeks.
Edith had been concerned about Mary going into an orphanage (as children not well-treated) but the child was too young to look after herself, and would be prey to exploitation for the Widows and Orphans pension of 3 shillings a week (today £9 a week) that the state paid to her. So, Edith signed the agreement for Mary to be admitted into the care of the Society, to be brought up in the faith of the Church of England and, when fully trained, sent to any situation in the United Kingdom that the Committee should determine.
Care from the Society
The first thing that the Waifs and Strays Society did was to get her baptised on 13 November 1938 at Handsworth Church.
She had received some education (several day schools) but it was unclear if she had attended any Sunday Schools, so a Christian education was planned but Mary was clearly unwell. She was sent to St David’s Waifs and Strays Convalescent Home in Broadstairs in February 1939, then to Ramsgate Hospital in August suffering with tonsilitis and adenoids, then back to the Convalescent Home (presumably for the seaside air). A report in 1939 hints at how poorly Mary had been when admitted aged seven and a half: She has only been here a month but has already gained 3lb and is looking a different child. She was clearly a joyful person: Fast developing into a lively little imp!
Mary’s report on leaving Broadstairs after a year read: She came to us as a pale, delicate, lifeless little girl. She has grown 3¾ inches and gained 12lb. Her conduct described her character: A lively, noisy happy little scatterbrain. A rosy-cheeked tomboy, full of life and energy. In other words, an enthusiastic person who was beginning to overcome her troubled background. In May 1940 Mary was transferred to the newly-established St Agnes Waifs and Strays Home at Pevensey Bay, Sussex but that home was closed a month later because of the threat of wartime bombing. She passed through a resettlement Home in the London suburb of Chislehurst and in June 1940 went to Mrs Mayo, Yatton Keynell Rectory, Chippenham, as a BO (boarding orphan) aged nine.
Mary appears to have been a personable child. Earlier in 1938 she had met Major Mowbray from Fife who was sufficiently impressed that he donated £1 and asked for half-yearly reports of her progress. She obviously thrived with Mrs Mayo and attended Sunday School, being confirmed at Yatton Keynell in 1946. That year she was due to go out to work, which probably would have involved moving area again. But Mrs Mayo and her housekeeper Mrs Dorothy Snell wanted Mary to stay and they employed her as a maid on a salary of 10 shillings a week. She took a new employment in 1946, staying with Miss G James three years and increasing her wages to £1 per week in 1948. A year later she left the care of the Society, aged 18 years, but clearly she was remembered by those who knew her, especially Canon Hellier Randall Mayo, his wife and their housekeeper Dorothy Snell.
The first thing that the Waifs and Strays Society did was to get her baptised on 13 November 1938 at Handsworth Church.
She had received some education (several day schools) but it was unclear if she had attended any Sunday Schools, so a Christian education was planned but Mary was clearly unwell. She was sent to St David’s Waifs and Strays Convalescent Home in Broadstairs in February 1939, then to Ramsgate Hospital in August suffering with tonsilitis and adenoids, then back to the Convalescent Home (presumably for the seaside air). A report in 1939 hints at how poorly Mary had been when admitted aged seven and a half: She has only been here a month but has already gained 3lb and is looking a different child. She was clearly a joyful person: Fast developing into a lively little imp!
Mary’s report on leaving Broadstairs after a year read: She came to us as a pale, delicate, lifeless little girl. She has grown 3¾ inches and gained 12lb. Her conduct described her character: A lively, noisy happy little scatterbrain. A rosy-cheeked tomboy, full of life and energy. In other words, an enthusiastic person who was beginning to overcome her troubled background. In May 1940 Mary was transferred to the newly-established St Agnes Waifs and Strays Home at Pevensey Bay, Sussex but that home was closed a month later because of the threat of wartime bombing. She passed through a resettlement Home in the London suburb of Chislehurst and in June 1940 went to Mrs Mayo, Yatton Keynell Rectory, Chippenham, as a BO (boarding orphan) aged nine.
Mary appears to have been a personable child. Earlier in 1938 she had met Major Mowbray from Fife who was sufficiently impressed that he donated £1 and asked for half-yearly reports of her progress. She obviously thrived with Mrs Mayo and attended Sunday School, being confirmed at Yatton Keynell in 1946. That year she was due to go out to work, which probably would have involved moving area again. But Mrs Mayo and her housekeeper Mrs Dorothy Snell wanted Mary to stay and they employed her as a maid on a salary of 10 shillings a week. She took a new employment in 1946, staying with Miss G James three years and increasing her wages to £1 per week in 1948. A year later she left the care of the Society, aged 18 years, but clearly she was remembered by those who knew her, especially Canon Hellier Randall Mayo, his wife and their housekeeper Dorothy Snell.
Mary's wedding in 1958 to James Aubrey Hill took place at Ditteridge Church with a reception at Middlehill House
Adult Life
At this point the Society’s records ceased. There are still outstanding questions about Mary’s connection with the Harpers, whether she might have been a cook or housemaid for them. Perhaps, one day we will discover this part of her life. Clearly, the Misses Harper were impressed with this young lady, employed her as a domestic servant and allowed her to have her wedding reception in their house. Perhaps, she took the place of a daughter for the ladies.
Mary met James Aubrey Hill, a Royal Navy seaman, in July 1957 and they were married in April 1958, settling in Portsmouth.
She never referred to her childhood and seemingly was unaffected by it. She was a good mother to us, loving, kind and tolerant. She loved cooking and keeping a home for us to grow up in. We had no indication of her upbringing or why we called Dorothy Snell Aunty Doll. It wasn’t that our mother had forgotten her childhood, more that she had moved on and wanted us to have everything that she missed.
Mum never worked again after she moved to Portsmouth. Despite not having a lot of money we never went without, always had plenty of food and a proper cooked dinner every day - mum made the best roast potatoes in the world. She never had a washing machine until later years but dad's white shirts were always spotless! She used to boil the tea towels on the oven to get them clean. I really don’t know how she managed to wash the bed linen but I do remember we had a mangle.
She loved cooking and made delicious cakes and pastries. She was a very competent sewer, embroiderer and knitter, making all Rowena's dancing costumes and her wedding dress. She was a volunteer at the Red Cross for 25 years organising outings, holidays and games for attendees. Mum was very well liked and highly thought of by everyone, extremely kind and had a very wicked sense of humour and when she started laughing she couldn’t stop!
Mum never seemed to want for anything; she was content with what she had. She was a very proud lady. When I think what a difficult childhood she had she was in fact a very happy lady! Even when she was diagnosed with breast then bone cancer she always had a twinkle in her eyes!
At this point the Society’s records ceased. There are still outstanding questions about Mary’s connection with the Harpers, whether she might have been a cook or housemaid for them. Perhaps, one day we will discover this part of her life. Clearly, the Misses Harper were impressed with this young lady, employed her as a domestic servant and allowed her to have her wedding reception in their house. Perhaps, she took the place of a daughter for the ladies.
Mary met James Aubrey Hill, a Royal Navy seaman, in July 1957 and they were married in April 1958, settling in Portsmouth.
She never referred to her childhood and seemingly was unaffected by it. She was a good mother to us, loving, kind and tolerant. She loved cooking and keeping a home for us to grow up in. We had no indication of her upbringing or why we called Dorothy Snell Aunty Doll. It wasn’t that our mother had forgotten her childhood, more that she had moved on and wanted us to have everything that she missed.
Mum never worked again after she moved to Portsmouth. Despite not having a lot of money we never went without, always had plenty of food and a proper cooked dinner every day - mum made the best roast potatoes in the world. She never had a washing machine until later years but dad's white shirts were always spotless! She used to boil the tea towels on the oven to get them clean. I really don’t know how she managed to wash the bed linen but I do remember we had a mangle.
She loved cooking and made delicious cakes and pastries. She was a very competent sewer, embroiderer and knitter, making all Rowena's dancing costumes and her wedding dress. She was a volunteer at the Red Cross for 25 years organising outings, holidays and games for attendees. Mum was very well liked and highly thought of by everyone, extremely kind and had a very wicked sense of humour and when she started laughing she couldn’t stop!
Mum never seemed to want for anything; she was content with what she had. She was a very proud lady. When I think what a difficult childhood she had she was in fact a very happy lady! Even when she was diagnosed with breast then bone cancer she always had a twinkle in her eyes!
Rowena and Ian have discovered so much about their mother's past to enable them to understand their families better. They know that there is much more still to find. If you can help fill in details or if you think you relate to their family, please would you get in touch through the website.
Mary Holtom’s life in overcoming adversity is a marvellous example to her family and a wonderful precedent for us all.
That might be the best legacy any person can have.
That might be the best legacy any person can have.